I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
