the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
