remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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