i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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