why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
