Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Everclear isn't food dammit
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
