I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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