What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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