Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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