So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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