Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Randomize
