JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
