I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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