Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize