Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Everything about him screamed your future.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
