Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
