Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize