They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
