This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
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He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
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I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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