I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
