He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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