found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
