Plan B is the new Plan A
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
