You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
