Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
