I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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