last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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