That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
