"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
