dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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