i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
