my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
