I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I should be sponsored by Trojan
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We had sex on a dog bed..
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
