I hate your face
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
