We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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