he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
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i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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