Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize