While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
