Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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