Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
