A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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