All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
