you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize