so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
