i don't like sucking hair
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
