Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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