On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
