i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize