so explain again why im purple
no
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
