My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
