I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Congratulations! We have a period
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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