I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
