Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
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It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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