i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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