Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
