I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
well you can't waste a boner
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
