Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
