The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
