That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize