Your tits are I can't wait for
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
