That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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