He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
