Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
