Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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