she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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