i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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