Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
