I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
