He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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