Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i was born a porn star she said
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
